"Give of yourself to others and you may just find yourself the richest person in the room.
#9. Do not covet a co-worker’s promotion or position.
Coveting is a word that is not used often. It might be brought up in Sunday school or an occasional sermon but outside of that we really do not use it in our everyday vocabulary. We normally will use words like desiring, wanting, "dream of", and "long for" before using the word coveting.
So, what is it? I think we all know what it is. We see it at work all around us. Our economy is being driven from it. Terms like, “keeping up with the Jones’” or simply “jonesing” or Fear of Missing Out (FOMO), all have their roots in it. To covet something is to want something that is not rightfully yours or something that belongs to someone else. However, it is wanting something bad enough to where you will seek to obtain it at the expense of something or even worse, someone else. It is putting your wants, desires, and dreams above all else in expectation to fulfil an inward need that inevitability turns into a bottomless cup. When the fields of coveting have been plowed and fertilized through selfishness and self-centeredness it produces and crop of jealousy, greed, theft, and other behaviors that cause harm to ourselves and others.
In the field of business, we see coveting ruling the roost as we seek to continuously drive profits through the goods and services we provide. We can create a long list of harms that have been done because of someone's drive to covet. So, how can we identify coveting and how can we guard against it?
JEALOUSY
Jealousy revolves around envy. Merriam-Webster (2023) defines jealousy as “hostile toward a rival or one believed to enjoy an advantage." Therefore, it is not just being upset about another person's position, it is being hostile toward it. Jealousy is directed toward an individual who has something you want, that is why there is hostility. It breeds resentment, anger, and fear. Even in small doses it can start a fire that can burn out of control in a short amount of time.
GREED
Greed is directed toward the object itself. It can be several things but at its root is money. The two, jealousy and greed, function in pairs. When I think of greed I think of Scrooge. Scrooge was able to throw away all relationships in pursuit of satisfying his voracious desire for wealth and security. Prior to his change he was an angry, lonely, and a cold-hearted man protecting his accumulated wealth from all who "wished to take it." The sad thing is that people like him cannot take their wealth with them when they die. Have you ever seen a hearse pull a U-Haul trailer? I think there is a song about this.
CHARACTER ASSASSINATION
This happens quite often. Attack the person that has what you want by assassinating their character. Normally the person who slanders the other is doing so from a base of fear. It is out of their own inferiority that they choose to assassinate the one who has what they want or what they think they deserve. Extreme cases of covetousness are those that are egomaniacs with inferiority complexes. From the outside it’s all about them as they bulldoze others to get what they think is rightfully theirs, but inside they are inferior, driven by fear of not having enough or not looking good enough.
So, what about realistic goals, dreams, and desires? Not all of them can have their roots in coveting, can they? Not if we keep our hearts in check. Having desires and goals are natural. It is only when they become an obsession to satisfy our own insecurities do they become a problem. All of us are susceptible to falling victim to coveting, however, here are some ways to guard against it.
GRATITUDE
Practice gratitude on a regular basis. A grateful heart leads to a happy heart. Be grateful for the good things in your life. Learn to write 3 good things daily. If you do this, you will see results within the first two weeks. People who make a practice of this can reduce burnout, depression, and have a more improved work-life balance (Trinh Mai, 2021).
CONTENTMENT
Being content with what you have is a good thing. Remember, contentment does not mean complacent. You can still be content and strive for dreams and goals that you would like to achieve. However, your foundation will be firmer in your pursuits. Plus, you will make great friends along the way.
GIVING
It would be exceedingly difficult to covet if you are a giving person. Practice giving your time and money to those things that are important to you. Time is irreplaceable and is the most precious gift a person can give. However, when you give of your money you are able to help in ways that your time cannot.
The story of the woman who gave 2 cents comes to mind. When Jesus was in the temple, he observed an elderly woman placing 2 cents on the alter. When seeing this, Jesus said, “You see this woman? She has given more than anyone else. All others gave out of their wealth, but she gave all she had.” In other words, practice giving for the sake of the heart and not the sake of duty. This is true for both time and money.
Be happy for those who have excelled in their careers, even if you think you have been unfairly bypassed for a promotion. Another opportunity will come. However, if you are caught up looking back at missed promotions and misunderstandings you may miss new opportunities as they arise. Be grateful for the things you have and stay grounded in contentment. Give of yourself to others and you may just find yourself the richest person in the room!
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